


Think of Me

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-22 07:56:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17055881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: You had spent a wonderful year with Sam, as he took off time from hunting.  But when he decides he needs to get back to work, you wonder if he will even remember you now that he is gone.  But not only did he remember you, he never stopped loving you. Inspired by "Think of Me" from Phantom of the Opera.





	1. Chapter 1

Think of me, think of me fondly, when we've said goodbye.

You watched from the door as Sam packed up his clothes in a duffle bag. He said he needed to go to help his brother, that if he could, he would be back soon. But you knew better. If he was planning on being back soon, he wouldn’t be packing all of his clothes. You knew that this was going to be a final goodbye, no matter how much you didn’t want it to be. 

Remember me, once in a while, please promise me you'll try.

He put the last of his clothes in his duffle and zipped it up. Sam quickly looked around the room once again, making sure he didn’t miss anything, as you struggled to keep the tears at bay. You wouldn’t cry…you wouldn’t let yourself give into that despair…not until Sam was gone. He turned back to you and gave you a sad smile. 

When you find, that, once again, you long to take your heart back and be free.

“Come here…” He said, holding a hand out to you. 

You were quick to take his hand before burying yourself into his chest, holding him close. You took a deep breath, trying to memorize his smell, his touch, how he felt against you. 

“I promise, next time I come through, I will be right here.” He said softly, kissing your head. 

If you ever find a moment, spare a thought for me ...

You didn’t say anything, just squeezed him tighter. You weren’t just another civilian. Your father was a hunter, you grew up around it. You knew that Sam probably wouldn’t step foot in your town again. Sam shifted, pulling your chin up so you could look at him. “Don’t forget about me, alright?” He said with a soft smirk. 

We never said our love was evergreen, or as unchanging as the sea.

You gave him a tight smile as you leaned up and kissed him. You let yourself fall deep into the kiss, realizing that this would probably be the last time that you kissed this amazing man, the man who captured your heart, the man you loved so much. When this started a year ago, you had hoped that it would never change, but no promises were made…for exactly this reason. 

But if you can still remember, stop and think of me ...

“I could never forget you, Sam.” You said as he pulled away. 

He reached down and threw the strap of his duffle over his shoulder. He grabbed your hand as he walked down the steps and to the front door. You saw the sleek black Impala out on the street. You knew Dean was in there, waiting for his brother. 

Before you could think twice, you pulled Sam’s arm and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him in for one last passionate kiss. You put everything into it, all the love, the heartbreak, the want...

“If you have time…stop and think of me…okay?” You whispered against his lips. His only response was a nod, before he turned and walked away. 

~

Think of all the things we've shared and seen - don't think about the things which might have been ...

It had been a couple days since Sam had left, and you were still broken over it. You sat on your bed, holding a picture of the two of you, as you remembered all of the little moments that were your favorites with Sam. Like that time when you went to a carnival, and the owner tried to convince Sam to join, saying he had the right stature for a trapeze performer. Or that time your car broke down…it was pouring down rain and you and Sam had to fix the flat tire. 

It was so hard to not slip into the ‘what might have been’ memories. Like what it would be like to wake up tomorrow and have Sam making you his traditional Saturday morning breakfast. Or what it would be like if Sam had stayed, would he have proposed eventually, would you have made a life with him? 

Think of me, think of me waking, silent and resigned.

Out of all the things you imagined. The one thing that kept coming back to you was if he was thinking of you too. Was he sitting in bed, in some random motel room, thinking of you too? Did he think of what life would be like if he hadn’t left? You sat in silence as your mind swam with ‘what ifs’ and ‘if only’. 

~

Imagine me, trying too hard to put you from my mind.

Six months. It had been six months since Sam left, and he was still always what filled your thoughts. You would find yourself at work and suddenly think…I hope he is well. Or you would be sitting at home, watching a movie and think…I bet Sam would like this show. It was almost like a curse. No matter how much time passed…he was still on your mind. 

Recall those days, look back on all those times, think of the things we'll never do.

It was in moments like that when you would fall into that sullen sorrow and think of all the things you didn’t get to do with Sam, like you had both planned. You both wanted to take a weeklong trip to Universal Studios. You wanted to go to a vineyard for a weekend. But none of those things would happen now…

There will never be a day, when I won't think of you ...

You had given up hope on Sam coming back. In the beginning, you told yourself you knew he wouldn’t, but you still had that hope. But now, that hope was gone. All you had left were some photos, some memories, and one plaid shirt he had missed while he was packing. 

~

Can it be? Can it be her? 

Sam’s heart was aching as Dean pulled into the motel. It has been two years since he was last in this little town. Two years since he had been the happiest he had ever been. His mind wandered back to this place almost every day, but mainly to you. Sam sat in the car as Dean checked them in, letting the ache from his heart fill his mind with images of you. It was in that moment that he looked over to the park and saw a woman sitting on a swing, and his heart stopped. 

Long ago, it seemed so long ago, how young and innocent we were.

He couldn’t believe it…it was you. You sat there, your hair had grown long, falling over your shoulders, as you sat on the swing, watching a small boy play on the playground. He couldn’t help but smile when he saw you get up and push the little merry go round as the kids squealed with joy. You always loved kids, that’s why you were a full time babysitter, you essential had your own unofficial daycare, taking care of all the kids in the small town. Sam reigned in his emotions as he realized that he had wanted, more than anything, to settle down and give you the family you always wanted. 

She may not remember me, but I remember her...

Sam moved quickly to get into the motel unnoticed. He didn’t want to ruin what life you had made for yourself. He was sure that you had found some guy to settle down with, to give you the life you always wanted. So instead of going back to you, like he promised two years ago, he pulled out a picture frame from the bottom of his duffle. In it was a picture from your first date. You wore that sexy black dress, and him in the red plaid shirt…the one he deliberately left behind for you, hoping it would give you something to remember him by. But he sighed. You probably threw that shirt away years ago…

Flowers fade, the fruits of summer fade, they have their seasons, so do we.

But you didn’t. That shirt was sitting on your bed. You would curl up with it every night as you let your thoughts wonder to Sam, hoping, praying he was still alive. That maybe someday, he would come back through this town and you could go with him. It still ate you alive that you didn’t think of that to begin with…you loved him so much, you should have just left to go hunting with him. 

But please promise me that sometimes you will think of me.

Sam never did stop by your house. He didn’t want to risk ruining something you may have with someone else, or dragging up old heart break. He worked this case, like any other, and he and Dean left as soon as they could. And not once did you notice the Black Chevy Impala that had driven past the park, your mind was too caught up in watching over the kids. So instead, you and Sam only had a few pictures, and a few memories.


	2. Chapter 2

Sam let his heart break as Dean drove down the road, heading out of town.  God, why did it hurt so much?  Seeing you and not being able to hold you in his arms, to not kiss you, tell you how beautiful you looked in the morning. 

 

When they passed, you were at the park, watching the kids, so now was a safe time.  He pulled out his phone and hit a few numbers before shakily brining the phone to his ear.  He just needed to hear your voice, even if it was an answering machine.

 

“Hey, this is (Y/N)!  I’m not in right now, so just leave a message…”  There was a small break and Sam went to hang up, but your voice went on.  “…and if this is you…I hope you still think of me.”

 

Sam’s eyes went wide as he heard your voice.  It was there, you-you hadn’t moved on.  You left him a message, letting him know you still wanted him there…

 

“TURN AROUND!”  Sam screamed.

 

Dean flinched for a moment and then chuckled.  “About damn time.”

 

000

 

You got him, carrying in a bag of Chinese food.  A normal person would have went into the kitchen and ate, but…you sighed as you shook your head.  You were hearing things, you told yourself.  When you heard a familiar rumble of a familiar car, you thought it may have been the impala, and you let yourself give into hope…but there was no impala, there was no Sam. 

 

You walked right into your room and set the food down on your dresser as you got changed and comfortable.  You got into a tank top and shorts, Sam’s giant flannel was wrapped around you.  You had to keep pushing up the sleeves as you ate, watching your show on Netflix.

 

You had just gotten into a comfy position when you heard your doorbell.  Honestly, a part of you didn’t want to get out of bed, but you managed the willpower to move.

 

You pulled the flannel close as you walked down the steps.  “Yes.”  You snapped as you swung the door open.  You froze in place as you looked up to see the face of a dream.  A dream you long ago thought you would never see again.

 

“S…Sam?”  You croaked out.  You were in awe.  On one hand, he looked just like he did when he left, still your amazing Sam.  But on the other, he looked different, like he had been working too hard, not eating, or sleeping enough.  “Sam…”

 

Tears stung your eyes as you forced air in and out of your lungs.  You had thought, after all this time he would have forgotten about you, found someone else, moved on…but here he stood. 

 

Sam had a plan when he knocked on your door.  He was going to apologize for not coming back sooner, for doubting your promise to never forget him, for almost driving away without seeing you again.  He was going to tell you how much he still loved you, even after two years, how you were the first thought when he woke up and the last one before he went to sleep.  He was going to do all of that, open up his heart to you and pray you didn’t rip it out. 

 

But his mouth had other ideas.

 

“Is that my shirt?”  There was no denying the true meaning behind that question.  Sam knew it, you knew it.  It may have come out as a ridiculous question, but it still hung in the air.

 

_Do you still love me?  Do you still want me?  Do you still want us?_

 

The tears blurred your vision as a smile spread across your face.  “Yes.” 

 

One word.  Just one word and you were in each other’s arms.  Sam wove his arms around your waist and you wrapped around his neck and shoulders.  The kiss was intense.  Two years of heartache and loneliness and unspoken love mingled together for a crescendo of need and want.

 

You didn’t know how long you stayed like that, but when you pulled your lips from him you were both smiling, looks of pure bliss. 

 

“I-I thought you would never come back.”  You whispered to him.

 

“I wanted to, every damn day…”

 

“Why didn’t you?”

 

“Because he’s a masochistic idiot.”  A happy voice came from behind Sam. 

 

You looked around his shoulders and smiled. “Hey, Dean.” 

 

“Hey, sweetheart.”  He smiled at you.  Dean always knew how Sam felt about you.  He saw how you two were when his brother left, and it was one of many things that gave him guilt ridden sleepless nights.  But now Sam was ready to come back, he was ready to be with you.  “So…how about you slap him for makin’ you wait and then pack a bag?”

 

You raised an eyebrow at Sam, who just smiled at you nervously.  “If you want to…”

 

000

 

“Sam?”  You called out as you walked down the hallway in the bunker.  Your bare feet made little patter sounds as you moved, pulling one of Sam’s flannels around your shoulders for warmth.

 

“Boiler room!”  He shouted back before letting out a curse. 

 

You turned and saw him covered in dirt and god knows what else.  “Everything okay?”  You asked softly.

 

“Yea…think I almost have it.  Then the heat will be back on.”  He said as he pulled the wrench free and shifted so he could see the dial on the ancient heater.  As he moved, he nailed his head off the nearby pipe and you flinched.

 

“You okay?”  You reached out and ran a hand though his hair.  He sighed as he leaned into you, wrapping his arms around you as he nestled in against your stomach from his spot on the floor.  “Why don’t you take a break?”

 

“Cause we will freeze to death…figures we finally get the bunker to ourselves for a few days and this happens.”  He said with a huff.

 

“Oh…we won’t freeze…not with what I have planned.”  You said with a quick wink as you pulled him up off the floor.  You made a life here with Sam.  You didn’t hunt, you just did research.  You had filled a void where Bobby used to be, being a source of help for other hunters with information and pretending to be different government agencies.  It was perfect…but the best part?  You were able to fall asleep at night wrapped in Sam’s arms, never taking a moment for granted. 


End file.
